Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Shadowed Heart

May my heart be the Shadow of Your Love
  stretching into the abyss of darkness
Reflecting Your Image and Likeness
Casting it’s darkened outline on the unsuspecting
  healing the wounds inflicted by our humanness

May my heart be the Shadow of Your Love
  stretching into the abyss of darkness
Reflecting Your Image and Likeness
The brightness of Your Love illuminating ambiguity 
  radiating the brilliance of Your Joy upon our own commiseration 

May my heart be the Shadow of Your Love
  stretching into the abyss of darkness
Reflecting Your Image and Likeness
The iridescence of Your Glory fall first upon me
  healing the wounds inflicted by humanness

Then and only then, will my heart truly be the Shadow of Your Love
  for the darkness in me will be enlightened
And I will be able to reflect Your Image and Likeness 
Casting it’s darkened outline on the unsuspecting
  healing the wounds inflicted by our humanness

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Sunday, August 16, 2015

What a Difference a . Makes

Punctuation is important.  Wouldn't you say so?  You can write: 
"Let's eat, Grandpa." 
"Let's eat Grandpa."
Two entirely different meanings!  The little , could save Grandpa's life!  Ok, only kidding of course, but you get the point.

I was reading Psalm 5:12 this morning in the New King James Version. Here is how it is written: 
For You, O, LORD, will bless the righteous; with Favor You will surround him as with a shield.
In the original Hebrew, there is no semi colon.  It would read, "For You oh LORD will bless the righteous with Favor..." which, makes sense, since we know that we are blessed of our God; we know He surrounds us like a shield.

His Favor is a tremendous blessing in our lives - to those who need Favor.

I'm choosing to read this verse, believe it , and stand it with no semi-colon.  The blessing of my Abba's Favor to me, His righteous Daughter, is a shield around my life.  Absolutely.  But, Divine Favor is a blessing from my Abba.  And I do thank Him for it.

Thank You, my LORD, that you bless me with Favor and that You surround me as a Shield because I believe.  Because I trust.  Because I stand.

Because of Him and Unto Him.  Period.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

With My Head Pulled Out

There was a "broken Hallelujah" in my heart this morning.

Because I have prayed the above prayer.

One of my favorite songs is Hallelujah written by Leonard Cohen. So many musicians have performed this song over the years, with so many variations to it, that I have a lot of them downloaded. I love them all. I've posted about this song three times now.

The Holy Spirit has always used songs - when sung from my heart - as intercession.  This one is no different.  I first heard of the song at the closing of the 2010 Olympics.  It was performed by KD Lang. Her rendition moved me to sobs while watching her performance on the TV. I had to know about her and that song.

I think, only those who have experienced a loved one slip away into the abyss of sin by turning their back on our LORD or have done so themselves, can relate to the song. I truly hope that is not you.

Having experienced the heart-break and life-altering changes of a backslidden (which is what this song is about) husband twice in my life now, with such unGodly repercussions both times, this song took on new meaning to me this morning.

I clicked on the playlist, turned up the Bose and began washing dishes. The first rendition to come on was by Celtic Thunder.  I began to sing it from the depths of my soul with the person in mind I pray for; however, God was about to answer my prayer. The one above.

Suddenly, without warning, His Light turned on with laser-point accuracy, yet shed broadly into the nooks and crannies of my heart.

I had a major revelation that threw me to my kitchen floor where I stayed, crying out for God to forgive me.  I could have washed my floor with the amount of tears that flowed.  True repentance can be messy.

I always sang Hallelujah for someone in particular, not my husband. This song was a spiritual gift by My Father ever since hearing it at the Olympics.  But, I never realized the gift was meant for me.

My Father was trying to prepare me for what was to come.  He was showing me that one more time, my Samson had his hair cut, by a Delilah. 


God was not only was preparing me, He was trying to get me to acknowledge what I suspected deep within the depths of my being. Even though my husband continued his "I'm still walking with Jesus" charade, the Truth is I did suspect his backslidden state.  Again. However, I didn't want to accept the fact that he could possibly spit in our LORD's Face a second time.  Twice in his lifetime??  How could I be married to such a person?  What part of him wasn't a lie???

Apparently, I was willing to be ostrich-like, keeping my head buried in the sand. I didn't want to deal with this one more time in my life.  I could not accept the fact that this man I served and served with really could turn his back on our LORD for a second time - turn from The God, Who has been so Gracious and done so many miraculous things for him, his businesses, his family.

Oh, how I repented as I pulled my head out of the sand.

And The Light revealed my reason for being ostrich-like.  Fear and mistrust.  Fear of spending the rest of my life alone; and more importantly, not trusting The LORD to support me the rest of my life. (As you know, I've been a stay-at-home wife/servant of The LORD, my whole life adult life). And mis-trust is much worse than fear!

So, this morning, I'm hurting.  When God's Light shines on our own darknesses, it hurts.  It busts wide-open our own misconceptions of self. But, I am most grateful.  My head is fully out of the sand now.  My Father/Husband was Gentle with me.  Kind.  Compassionate.  Gracious. Oh, so Loving.

In the last weeks God has shown me much about the Truth of who my husband really is - whom he has been for the whole 44 years of knowing him.  He has answered so many of my many nagging questions over the years in one fell swoop of knowledge.  Of which I'm still processing and I am eternally grateful for. God always answers our questions! Always!
Thank You, my LORD, for preparing me.  Every time I  sang that song as intercession for You know who, it was actually for my husband, wasn't it? Even though I had one person in mind, You obviously, had another.  But, this time You answered according to Your Wise Judgement. 

Thank You for giving me this day of healing rain. I've rested in You - snuggled in good and tight - and You have kept me in a sterile place, allowing me to nurse my wounds inflicted from your laser surgery.  And most of all, thank You for forgiving me. Thank You, thank You, thank You! I love You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, my Husband.

Because of Him and Unto Him, 

Monday, August 10, 2015

Walk a Mile in His Moccasins/Judge Softly

Painting by R.C. Gorman

Don't find fault with the man that limps, 
Or stumbles along the road
Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears, 
Or stumbled beneath the same load.

There may be tears in his soles that hurt
Though hidden away from view.
The burden he bears placed on your back
May cause you to stumble and fall, too.

Don't sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the same blow 
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know.

You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, unknown to you in the same way,
May cause you to stagger and fall, too.

Don't be too harsh with the man that sins
Or pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain
Unless you are sure you have no sins of your own, 
And it's only Wisdom and Love that your heart contains.

For you know, if the Tempter's voice
Should whisper as soft to you
As it did to him when he went astray,
It might cause you to falter, too.

Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.

I believe you'd be surprised to see
That you've been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.

Brother, there but for the Grace of God go you and I.
Just for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
And see the world through his spirit and eyes
Before you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.

Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
We will be known forever by the tracks we leave
In other people's lives, our kindnesses and generosity.

Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.


There is nothing else that needs to be said except this:  As Disciples of Christ, to walk a mile in someone else's moccasins is to be more Christ-like because this is what Jesus Christ has done for us.

I bow my head.

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Call Me Benjamin

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a movie starring Brad Pitt as a man who ages backwards - the older he gets, the younger he becomes physically.

I feel like Benjamin Button. Chronologically, this flesh is aging. And rather quickly these days.

However, it feels like my heart, my spirit man - who I REALLY am - continues to become younger.  

Is that really possible?


Please bear with me, as I write my thoughts…

The older my body gets, the freer I’m becoming.  I guess the Wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will do that.  And of course, my walk with God.  More so that than anything.  

As I am obedient to Him and His Word, the freer I become.  The more I commune with Him, the  more and more youthful in my heart I become.

Why is that?  How is that?…
Here is the answer!  Oh, thank You, my LORD!
Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His Benefits:  Who forgives all your iniquities,  Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.  ~ King David, as recorded in Psalm 103:1-5
I’ve always read verse 5 as: God satisfies my mouth with good things, therefore, my youth is renewed like the eagle. And that never really made sense to me.  After reading Psalm 103 this morning, I realize it is when we bless God, when we are grateful to Him, when we remember all He has done for us - forgiving us, healing us, redeeming us from destruction, bestowing His graciousness to us, and satisfies us with His good things - when we do verses 1-5, THEN our youth is renewed… WOW!!!!

The key to youthfulness is having a God-consciousness daily. Day by day.  Hour by hour.  Minute by minute.  THEN, our youth is renewed.  


The older I get, the freer I get, the younger I get, the more secure I get.  Phew….

Thank You, LORD, for restoring my youth - no, I thank You for actually giving me a youth, now, in my older age because my youth was robbed from me…my senior-hood has now become my youth-hood.  Thank You for the freedom to NOW enjoy my youth and youthfulness - from the stuffed animal on my bed, to laughing, running, and playing with water pistols at a church picnic…wow…You are allowing me to experience youthfulness. You have restored unto me what Satan had stolen from me so very long ago. Thank You so much, my LORD.  Thank You!  

Just call me, Benjamin!  

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Can You Hear the Heinous Laugh?

I've learned first-hand how true this Scripture really is.  It's a warning to all of us.
Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from The Living God; but exhort one another daily, while it is called "today", lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. ~The Apostle Paul as recorded in Hebrews 3:12-13
The "evil heart" (as it is called here) is allowing SIN to cause us to depart from The Living God.  And unrepented SIN will do just that!

My pastorally-ordained husband continually has said to me - since the truth of his deceptions, SIN, plots and schemes came into the Light - that he is still in right-standing with God.

So very, very deceived.

We all know SIN is enticing, seductive, and deceitful.  But, do we really get the fact that SIN is habit forming?  Whether it be alcohol, drugs, lying, stealing, or sex outside of the Covenant of marriage, it becomes habit. Why? Because the god of SIN sees to it that it becomes so. Why? To cause us to depart from The Living God.

Can you hear his heinous laugh as he declares, "One more "Christian" in my death trap"?

And once deceived the heart hardens like stone, which causes you to SIN all the more.  Deceit perpetuates continual deception.

If only a brother or sister had come to my husband and exhorted him (like it says in this Scripture) with Truth...the outcome of our lives, our children's lives, our friend's lives may be so different today.

My husband works closely with, and has fellowship with, Believers.  Not one of them exhorted him to repent, even though his SINS were/are right under their noses.  They are accountable for their non-action of exhorting him. These brothers and sisters even went as far as breaking friendship with me, but continue on with my husband to this day.  I wonder what can be found in the "closets" of their hearts?

We cannot - must not - turn our heads when we see a brother or sister in perpetual sin.  We must exhort - impel! - them to repentance.  That is part of our Kingdom responsibilities and is the outcome of the Love of God being shed abroad in our hearts.  Agape Love will cause us to confront no matter how uncomfortable it is to do so. Because Love is an action.

And the outcome is not our responsibility, but speaking up IS!

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

My מַ֫עַן

I've worn this ring for many years now.  It represents my Covenant with The LORD.  In Hebrew, it says, "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine." (Song of Solomon 6:3)

Not too long ago one my attorneys, who is Jewish, asked to see it.  She read it aloud in Hebrew and then in English. She was almost breathless with excitement and I was blessed beyond measure to hear this Scripture in Hebrew.

When I no longer could stand to look at the wedding rings on my finger - which now only represented strategic deception - I replaced them with my true Husband's ring.

In church on Sunday, I began to worship even before the music started, so by the time it did, I was already at Heaven's Gate.

Off in The Spirit of God, praying and singing in His Spirit, I started declaring what God was declaring about my future. I ended up sitting down and writing it out.  A bit later I sat back down, took the ring off my finger and rolled the writing up into it. Throughout the rest of worship, I held it with my arm extended straight up over my head.

My God has given the rest of my life purpose.  In His time, He declared it unto me.  I have been asking and asking for some kind of glimpse to a purposeful last years of my life.  

The Hebrew word for "purpose" is: מַ֫עַן  (maan).  My maan has been made clear. And I bless God with everything in me for giving me a tiny glimpse of it.  The rest is yet to be played out.

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

This Is Heavy...Too Heavy for My Heart

Have you ever heard the story of the two men sitting at a bar?  (No. It's not a joke.) One turns to the other and says, "You know, you're my best friend. I really love you, Brother!" The other responds, "Oh, yeah?  Well, if you really love me, then tell me where I hurt."
Tell me where I hurt = Know that I am hurting.
Thanks to: sweet-innocent-aura@deviantart
I experienced this kind of brotherly love today. I got a text from a brother in The LORD who lives far away from me and didn't know anything about my day today.  He reached out with God-anointed words of empathy. As he lifted me up with Scriptures and words of life, his compassion was tangible to me, like a hug in the supernatural realm.

It touched me deeply, yet caused me discomfort.

Why, LORD?

Hence this post.  Once again, I'm writing to myself...working through the whys of it.

To live your life with a man who never had an empathetic bone in his body is to be shut off from a most important aspect of love and human respect. (The Holy Spirit is showing me this right now.)

Oh, Wow...

To realize that a man can - and that there are some who do empathize - is causing my head to glitch.  I don't know how to react...

It scares me a little bit...The most important men in my life - father and husband - never exhibited empathy.  So, I've not experienced that kind of human heart-to-heart in over 60 years with those closest to me. I have from my children, friends, bloggers...but not in my most personal interpersonal relationships.

So I'm saddened, too...

Wow...How have I survived this long without it if one text has had such a profound impact?   ???

They say your marry a man like your own father...


I'm so grateful for my friend's words today and I know they were from You LORD.  Do You have healing in mind?...

It's invoking some deep stuff here, LORD....

I am one of the most empathetic people I know.  I was always like that. Where did I learn it from then? 


....DEEP stuff...Oh, Father, show me, heal me, thank You for causing me to be touched by such basic human touch...May I not be so scared that I run from it...heal me...

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Monday, July 20, 2015

Life Lessons from Neffy

I have a canary.  His name is Neffy.  

I was up before the crack of daylight this morning.  And I was excited to be able to see what a canary does the first thing upon waking.  

Sitting quietly in the still darkness of pre-dawn, I listened for his stirring. 


As the sky begins to throw back it's nighttime cover and glimmers of light begin to appear, Neffy went from silent and sleeping to awake and eating.  He flew down to his food cup and ate. 

Just a bit.  

Then back to a perch.  He preened his feathers.

Just a bit.  

And then, the silence is sliced open by Neffy's rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus.

Could his song be a song of praise and gratitude for seed being in his cup?  Could it be a song of worship to his Creator for supplying all of his needs?  Could it be that this little bird is so thankful for another day of life, that he cannot contain his song any longer - that he must let his praises find flight?

His song is effortless; spontaneous.  He is not concerned with how loud he is or whether or not his song is "pretty".  He wholeheartedly, with reckless abandon, sings his song of adoration.
Let the high praises of God be in their mouth...                                   ~ Psalm 149:6
Jesus' disciples were praising God wholeheartedly and the Pharisee's tried as they might to get them to shut up.  They told Jesus to rebuke His disciples. But, Jesus answered them, "I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out." (Luke 19:40) 

God receives thanksgiving and worship from all of His creation. How much more-so should we who receive his life-altering eternal gift of salvation?

How can we be silent? Or with pious religiosity rotely sing because that is what is expected of us on a Sunday morning?

How can we not joyously sing our songs of worship if we have a grateful heart - anytime, anywhere?  

Food for thought.

Because of Him and Unto Him,