Tuesday, June 30, 2015

More So Than Five Minutes Ago

Let not mercy and truth forsake you;Bind them around your neck,Write them on the tablet of your heart,  and so find favor and high esteemIn the sight of God and man.  
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,And lean not on your own understanding;
 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ~ Prov. 3:3-6

From Heartlight.org

For 32 years I've done my best to live by these four little verses of Scripture. For the past year and a half, I've had to make more monumental, future-altering decisions than I have had to do in my whole life.

Verses four and five is how I've made each and every one of these decisions.

I've been misunderstood and I dare say, judged, by others including Christ-followers. But, that is neither here nor there.  What is important is the internal struggle that goes on in making God-directed decisions. It is by no means a walk in the park.

It is downright difficult.  Your mind second-guesses everything.  The mental battle in believing God is directing my paths is...just that: a battle.

But, I stand firm in my decisions.  They may prove out to be wrong and that it was clearly MY own rational from which I came to my conclusion.

But, even if that is true, God knows my heart.  He knows I only want to do His Perfect Will in each decision. And I believe He will make correction to any of my mistakes if they prove to be just that: a mistake.

And in my decisions of late I've proven to be merciful/kind, truth-filled/faithful. And I will have favor because God honors His Truths. 

So, why am I writing this post?

....

hhmmm....

....I'm "preaching" to myself.  I'm declaring God's Word is alive and active in my life and for each Truth of His Word that I've obeyed, I know It will bear fruit in my life. I'm declaring my trust in God and His Faithfulness. And in so declaring, it causes me stand strong. 

Stronger than five minutes ago, anyway.

Because of Him and Unto Him,





  

Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Crux of the Matter

The crux of the matter:
If sin rules in me, God’s Life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. ~ Oswald Chambers 6/23
If SIN rules in me, God's Life in me will be killed; if GOD rules in me, sin in me will be killed.

If SIN RULES in me, God's Life in me will be KILLED: if GOD RULES in me, sin in me will be KILLED.

Notice the..."I" 

If SIN RULES in me, GOD'S LIFE in me will be KILLED; if GOD RULES in me, SIN in me will be KILLED.

IF SIN RULES IN ME, GOD'S LIFE IN ME WILL BE KILLED; IF GOD RULES IN ME, SIN IN ME WILL BE KILLED!!!!






Thank You, LORD, for a logical explanation to others as to what has happened to Joe.  Thank You!  

Because of Him and Unto Him,




Monday, June 22, 2015

Until the Tombstone Spoke

“Mommy, I’m s o o o r r r y!”  The apology erupted through my gut-wrenching sobs.  

My heart had just broke wide open and years of stuffed bitterness flowed up and out like hot molten lava…

Months before The Holy Spirit started prompting me to go to the cemetery.  Mom died when I was 19 and I hadn’t been to her grave since her burial.  Married, with three children, I passed by the cemetery everyday as I drove my children back and forth to school. My obedience came after a month or two of His four times-a-day promptings.

After finding her grave, I stood for the longest time, not knowing what to do or say.  Knowing The LORD had something in mind, I came prepared - Bible, journal, and tissues.

Eventually, I sat down Indian-style in front the headstone.  Eye level.  I opened my journal and started writing.  

Af first, all I could write was my confusion as to the purpose of this Divine Appointment.   “Why am I here?”, I kept journaling.  As I would finish a sentence or two, I would glance up and read the wording on the headstone:

Mary L. Weiss
Wife of Charles E. Weiss
etc. etc.

I jotted thoughts and would glance up.

Jotted thoughts, glanced up.  

Suddenly the words WIFE OF stood out as if in neon lights.  

In that split nano-second I saw my Mommy through crystal clear eyes - through the Eyes of God, Himself.  I was brought back to my childhood/teen years.  I felt her pain and suffering with Crohn’s Disease.  But, more importantly, I saw the pain and suffering she endured being the wife of Charlie, and that the stress of being his wife added to the non-healing of the disease that took her life at the tender age of 48.  

My dad was a long-term member, and a three-time Grand Master, of the Masons.  He lived that secret life within the Masons and brought unGodliness and curses upon his family although he was an every-Sunday church goer.  He was a high functioning alcoholic, but a drunk just the same.  He was very sexually perverse, which only became darker and darker as the years went on; and he was unfaithful to my mother and God their whole married life.   

I was suddenly so aware of what it must have been like to lie down in bed next to him each night… and I "felt" my mom’s repulsion.  

My heart was flooded with empathy for her.

Sobbing, talking to my mommy, and scribbling my thoughts went on for quite a while. You see, although I hadn’t realized it, I had judged my mother.  Because her suffering from the Crohn’s, she was heavily medicated and abusive.  I always understood that. I did not hold that against her, but I what I did hold against her was that I somehow blamed my mother for my father’s deceitful and deviant character.  

Why did I judge my mother and not my father?  That made no sense. Judgements don't make sense. They are lies we choose to believe. It was a demonic seed planted in my young heart creating a love/hate relationship passed onto me by my dad.  

As a teen, I had made angry judgements against my mother in my heart and there they laid buried until the tombstone spoke.

I couldn’t apologize enough to her and God.  And in my repenting, The LORD took all that judgmental bitterness away and replaced it with His Agape.  Love expanded my heart.  I asked The LORD to give her the message of how sorry I was and that I loved her.

God has much to say about us not judging.  Its root is demonic, disguised as anything but what it really is: believing a false accusation, then forming a biased opinion, and holding on to it as a truth.  All it does is cause deep-rooted resentment in the one who makes the judgment.  

Only God has the right to judge our hearts, thoughts, and actions.  

To this day, I teach on judgements - the evils and devastation of holding on to unGodly resentments.  After all, I learned the hard way and it took The LORD to cause the tombstone to “speak” to me in order to free me.  I'm forever grateful that He did.

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Saturday, May 30, 2015

My Mount of Transfiguration

Well, here I am again and can do nothing but boast on my Father and the power of His Holy Word.

Remember this guitar?  I presented it to my husband at his 60th birthday party at his favorite vineyard two years ago.  To read the story about the guitar, click on the link to the original post, Celebrating a 60 Year Old Vintage 


Well....

Since I purchased and presented this guitar to him under false pretenses - as I had no idea he was living a whole other secret life with another young woman and her children - I was standing my ground in not giving him the guitar.  I was ready, if necessary, to go to jail in defiance of a court order to do so.  My heart and soul went into that party and the presentation of the guitar. (To read the presentation, scroll down on the above post.)

Very long story short: We are nowhere near the settling of this divorce, however, I was mandated to surrender the guitar to my attorney.  Nope, not gonna do it!  Jail here I come.

Two days later, which was yesterday, a friend and I went to dinner.  We had been discussing the guitar situation for the last two days. It's unfair, how dare he, how dare the judge to order such a thing when we are nowhere near settling this mess, etc. etc. Justified anger.

We sit down at the table and as we are chit-chatting, in my heart I heard God's Word:
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head...  
In a nano-second, I told Flora what The Holy Spirit said to me and then declared, "I'm giving Joe the guitar".  I had a huge smile on my face. Flora's eyes got wide and then teary.  She exclaimed, "Diane, the Glory of God is all over you!  Your face is shining as if you were on the Mount with Moses. I'm experiencing a miracle - right here, right now."

That is the power of God's Word to transform a mind and a heart in a nano-second of hearing it.  In that instant, I bowed my heart and soul to The Word.  I was free.  All anger gone.  I found myself saying to Flora , "I wish I could drive to his house right now and give it to him".   But, due to the order of protection that is not possible.

The LORD didn't tell me to give up the guitar, He didn't even ask me to. He understands the unfairness of it all.  He understands the justified anger.  But, He also knows how much I respect and honor The Word of God, and that It has preeminence in my life.

I have such a joy in my heart.  I awoke this morning and my face was hurting.  I touched my mouth and realized I had a huge grin on my face. I must have slept like that.

In writing out this post, I looked up the exact verse.  It's Proverbs 25:21-22.  And the rest of the verse says:
And The LORD will reward you.
I didn't have a change of heart because of the "reward" that awaits me. I did it because of Love. Love for God, His Word, and His Agape that flows in my heart for the husband of my youth.

All Glory and Honor to Him, and Him Alone,







Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Strange Truth

"Truth is stranger than fiction." Mark Twain said that.

My life sure has proved that out as of late.

The rest of his quote is: "Fiction has to make sense."

I'm not a reader or writer of fiction, so I must assume that is true.  I'm sure it must be written in such a way that the storyline makes sense, like any good story.

The storyline of my life, as of late, would make a great fiction story. I think it has a lot of the components that people want in a juicy, draw-you-in story.  Only problem is, it sure doesn't seem to make sense.  And that is because it is truth, and if I were to write it as a part of my memoir, I don't think many would believe it. Why? Because it sounds like a fiction novel. I'm sure people would think that the storyline had been "embellished" upon to make it a more interesting read. (As is the case with most memoirs published today.)

I've been centering in on Joseph lately.  His life sure sounds like fiction to me. Who could come up with such a storyline for his life? But, I love the ending of his story.  I can relate so much to him. One day, on Heaven's shores, I will look for Joseph.  I want to thank him.  I keep the ending of his life's journey close to my heart as my inspiration to keep on keeping on.

A very wise man (my son, Andrew) shared Gideon with me today.  I hadn't thought about Gideon in a really long time, but there are lessons to be learned from his life's struggles as well. And so I will read tonight.  And be strengthened all the more.

Maybe that's why some people don't believe the Words written in the Holy Scriptures - sounds too much like fiction - some of It even stranger than fiction!  But, it is Truth all the same. 

So I guess I'm in good company with the likes of Joseph and Gideon.  And since God is no respecter of persons, my ending will be just as "improbable" to the natural mind as was theirs. And just as glorifying!

Someday, when the ending of my story is just as awesome as Joseph's and Gideon's - the manifestation of God's deliverance and power and provision - maybe, just maybe, my storyline will be an inspiration to someone else. Maybe someone will glean from my life's struggles.  God sure knows I hope so.  Then this will all be worthwhile.

Because of Him and Unto Him,



This post can be read over on Tell Me A True Story. Hope you will stop by and read some amazing true stories.  You will be encouraged.



Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Moses Did Not Say, "Let My People Go"

Image result for Moses let my people goIf someone were to have asked me yesterday, what did Moses say to Pharaoh, I would have said, "Let My people go!"  But, after re-reading Scripture, I realize that is not what he said to Pharaoh. We only remember the first part of the command.
Afterward Moses and Aaron went in and told Pharaoh, “Thus says The LORD God of Israel: ‘Let My people go, that they may hold a feast to Me in the wilderness.’”  Ex. 5:1 - (a feast in worship of God.)
And The LORD spoke to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh and say to him, ‘Thus says The LORD, “Let My people go, that they may worship Me."  Ex. 8:1
What "Egypt" do you desire God to deliver you from?  Me from? 

He doesn't just want us "delivered".  He wants us delivered so that we might worship Him with our lives.


God knows who will honor Him, love Him, and worship Him with their lives. He knows who will be grateful to Him; who will appreciate the "deliverance" thereby laying down their lives to serve Him in whatever capacity we are called to.  


It's not enough to pray for deliverance from our "Egypt's".  If that is our only aim, what will we do when we reach the "promised land"?  What is the goal, once our prayers have been answered?


God Almighty expected the Israelites to worship Him in the wilderness out of gratitude.  But, not much had changed within the hearts of the delivered - even though God did mighty miracles to set His people free. While Moses was up on the mountain receiving The Ten Commandments, the Israelites were busy building an idol. They still grumbled and complained.


So, they wandered for 40 years and eventually the next generation made it to the Promised Land.


God doesn't want us in bondage, He doesn't want us to stay slaves to anything unGodly.  We pray and cry out for God to come through for us.  And when He does, then what?


He desires us to worship and serve Him. He does not "deliver" us from our stressors just to please us, which is what this "blessing generation" is being brainwashed to believe. 


He answers our prayers with a specific goal in mind.  

Think of Joseph, God delivered time after time from horrific circumstances.  He answered Joseph prayers.  Joseph chose to serve and worship The LORD God with his whole being and life. The fulfillment of the calling of God on his life was all that mattered to him.  

Is it yours?  Is it mine?  For what purpose shall our prayers be answered?

Because of Him and Unto Him,





Thursday, February 26, 2015

The "Eals" of Life

Odd title for this post.  I agree.

Ok, stay with me.

This morning, alone in a hotel room, I turned on Joyce Meyer and heard an awesome testimony of a young woman who endured years of sexual abuse.

She said something that hit a chord in me.  However, in this moment, I cannot remember it. But it's in my spirit.  I know it.

So, I'm going to type, trusting The Holy Spirit to bring it to life. For me and maybe for you.
How does one become whole and healthy after enduring years of sexual abuse?
How does one become whole and healthy after betrayal?
How does one become whole and healthy after hurts so deep it seems to cut you in two?
How does one become healed - totally and completely with no residue?

Here's where we get to the "Eals". 

Feel.  Reveal.  Deal.  Heal.  

We must allow ourselves to feel the emotions that situation, sin, or addiction carries within us, no matter how difficult or tramautic. We should not, cannot, stuff the emotions if we want to heal.  No matter how painful.  This where you acknowledge truth to yourself.

Then we must reveal the secret, problem, or sin. It must be acknowledged.  First to The LORD. Second to someone trustworthy. A confidante. Dr. Phil is famous for his words, "You can not change what you don't acknowledge."  Muster up the courage to speak it out loud. Tell someone.  You are on your way to being healed.  This is where you acknowledge truth to God and others.

OK. This next stage is where I believe we lose people. Why? Because it can be the most difficult stage. The most time-consuming stage.  This is the "work" stage. In our "instant" society, we don't have patience for this stage of the healing process:

We must be ready to deal with it in terms of getting counseling or having someone pray over us, going to an awesome Bible-based program such as Victorious Overcomers, etc. This is where you acknowledge truth that was once a secret and held you in bondage to it.  It's no longer a secret and the chains of bondage have been opened for you to get free. But, you must make the decision to see this process through.

My own inner healings took years to work through. One step, one stage at a time.  But, the reward was freedom, transformation, wholeness, and health. 
Heal = freedom, transformation, wholeness, and health.
Jesus came to heal the broken, the hurting, the devastated, the sorrowful, the angry, the bruised, the demon-possessed, the addicted.  He can only do so though if we allow ourselves to feel, reveal, and deal.  When we trust Him enough to go through those three stages, we will come through to the final stage transformed, whole, healthy, and free.



Secrets are to bondage, as truth is to freedom. 


I'll shout it a little louder this time: Secrets are to bondage, as truth is to freedom.




And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.  ~ Jesus Christ, as recorded in John 8:32

May you and I trust The LORD enough to allow the "eals" in our lives. If anyone wants to share briefly how they have walked through the "eals" process to give God Glory, please do so!  Testimonies are powerful tools The Holy Spirit uses for His Body of Christ to be exhorted and encouraged and to find the courage to go through the process for themselves. Please share.  

Because of Him and Unto Him,







Love, Be Free

(Do Not Know Who To Give Credit To)

God IS Love

Love, Himself, lives within

Love must be given wings
for it is not ours to hold onto

It is meant to be given away

Just like Jesus did


God IS Love

Love, Himself, rules and reigns within

We must give Love, Himself, wings
for He is not mine to hold onto

He is meant to be given away

Just like God, The Father, did


God Is Love

Love, Himself, desires to be free

He must be extended to all
for He, Love, is for all

We must let down the walls and let Love free


Because of Him and Unto Him,











Monday, February 23, 2015

I Pledge Allegiance...

I pledge allegiance to...

If I were to ask you who you are loyal to, what would your answer be?

Your spouse?  Your family?  Your church, ministry, or cause?  Your friends?  Loyal to your local community stores/businesses?

Hopefully, you are to all of those.  But, I ask you to think about this as well: Are you loyal to God?

At the first sign of trouble, do you question Him?  

When your prayers don't get answered as you like, do you get mad at Him; doubt Him and the trustworthiness of Who He is?  Do you put the brakes on faith?

I've had a couple of people ask me during this latest trial in my life, "How do you still believe?"

Huh?! 

Obviously, they do not know God - really, intimately, know Him and His Character. Obviously, they don't believe His Words.

Scripture says, "It rains on the just and unjust". You take the good with the bad in life, but that doesn't mean that God fluctuates between good and bad.  

He is constant. Never changing. He causes good to come from everything evil in our lives.  He gives us rainbows after the rain.

Are we loyal to that Truth?

We live in a society that isn't so loyal to much of anything or anyone anymore.

We switch phone companies, Internet providers, homes, churches, and jobs frequently.

We switch spouses and children at the blink of an eye.

We switch friends because we get hurt or feel unnoticed or unappreciated. So, we "move on". 

There seems to be less and less loyalty in our American society.  And I've come to realize that if you don't value loyalty, you can never fully comprehend the devastation of betrayal.

Jesus Christ was the most loyal human being who ever lived.  He was loyal to His Father, to The Twelve, to His mother, to those who abandoned Him, to those who betrayed Him, to those who tortured Him.

And He is most loyal to you and I.
If you don't value loyalty, you can never fully comprehend the devastation of betrayal.
Jesus Christ is the One Constant in our lives, who will NEVER betray us. He will always have our backs. He is loyal to us even when we are not loyal to Him. He remains loyal when we choose to turn our backs on Him and walk away.

His loyalty should never be in question.   

N E V E R.

When you are loyal but are betrayed in return, Jesus Christ understands.  

He U N D E R S T A N D S.

When you are loyal but are betrayed in return,  Jesus Christ understands.  

Look what Judas' betrayal of Jesus cost The Eleven. It must have left them in a state of shock and caused such fear that they, too, denied and abandoned Jesus.  

When you have been loyal but betrayed in return, it is devastating.  But, Jesus Christ understands.  All we should do is take that pain, confusion, anger, and sorrow to The Lord for He understands the devastation. 

He will lovingly and loyally embrace us as He weeps in compassion for us.  With us. 

His comprehension of the resulting devastation to our souls and lives is one of His greatest gifts to us.

If we are only loyal enough to see that.
His comprehension of the resulting devastation to our souls and lives is one of His greatest gifts to us.  If we are only loyal enough to see that.

Because of Him and Unto Him,






 






Friday, February 20, 2015

The Garden's Agony

Have you ever been in your own personal "Garden of Gethsemane"?  

I have.  And it is agony.

I have cried out, "Father, take this cup from me!"

And surrendered, "Not my will, but Your Will be done."

OK.  Sounds good.  Sounds like my Christ Jesus.

However, I find myself with the same cry each day for a week now.  "Father, please take this cup from me!"  The surrender to my Father's Will is obviously not complete in me yet.

I wish I could spend hours in that "garden" prayer spot. Hours is what is needed to work this out of me until I can finally - once and for all - say it with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength - like Jesus did - "Not my will, but Your Will be done".  


The word "cup" in the original means "destiny".  Jesus Christ was facing intense physical torture, the unspeakable agony of the Cross, and separation from His Father for the first time in Eternity.  All because my sins were upon Him. That was His "cup".

As a human being Jesus did not want to go through such unspeakable horror. He had to battle it out in His Soul in order to get to the place of "Not My Will but Your Will be done".  He continued on His Path out of obedience to His Father.

....My destiny is not on the same level at all.  Nowhere near.

But, I know my Father understands my agony just as well as He did Jesus'.  I did not choose this path.  I do not want to be on this path.  

But, here I am. Even though it's a path not of my choosing, the Garden prayer spot is my choosing.  I want to totally surrender my will to that of my Father's.  Just like Jesus did.

Oh, Father, please give me the grace to accept this, if this is truly Your Will.  If it is not Your Will, then take this cup from me...That's all I can muster at this point.  Maybe tomorrow, I'll be able to totally surrender.  Thank You for loving me just as I am.

Because of Him and Unto Him,